"it"

well this is very complicated and very hard to say..
let's view this as 3rd or 4th persona...
when a conflict intrigues with ur heart..
and the conflict involving with heart and feeling...
it very hard for a person to admit it..
it will get worse when the conflict revolving u and someone very precious to u and ur best friend...
the feeling that felt inside keep shouting to come out..
but the more to think the more i need to endure it...
everytime the question pop out, the mouth keeps denying it...
its very hard...
when u want to tell the truth, the feeling of guilts keep pouring in..
at the same time, u want to see the members of ur life happy...
its not fair to do that to a friend that always there for u...
especially when he/she found someone to love..
the more the feeling want to avoiding them the more situations bring them closer to u..
arghhh!!!
thought that it was figured out a long time ago...
but still it very hard to face it..
why now?? why now?? i don't want this to happen...
please, for our sake, this really2 sucks...
i can't have this feeling right now..
what am i suppose to do??
i don't want to lose them but at the same time its hurting more and more...
as much i want to say it, i can't do it, especially to them...
maybe this is "it"